Symptoms include coughing, sneezing, and searching for truffles.

Swine flu is a bitch isn't it? Well, maybe a sow...

The WHO has raised it's panic level to 5 as of late. What does that mean? So far it means don't panic, but we're almost at a pandemic. It's an illness with it's epicenter in Mexico and traces all around the world. People are certainly worried about contracting this illness, since, afterall, it is an illness.

What are the symptoms of swine flu? You get the flu, then, if you're Mexican, you die.

Most (if not all) swine flu related deaths have been in Mexico. Poor be the people who die from it there, and may they rest peacefully. However, there have been little to no deaths outside of Mexico. This sounds like good reason not to panic.

But ho! The American media extraordinaire it at it's finest. By the powers of CNN, ABC, NBC, and FOX combined, we form TERRORTRON. Unleashing fears never before coined. We must cause chaos and persuade pandemonium! Terror of what is yet to come, not of the little that has been.

So, what should YOU do to protect yourself from this viral apocalypse? Let's see.

1. Don't panic, it's a flu.
2. For fuck's sake don't panic, it's a flu.
3. If you're Mexican skip to step 6.
4. Don't go to Mexico.
5. Avoid Mexicans.
6. Take lots of Vitamin C suppliments.
7. Drink plenty of water.
8. Don't panic.
9. Avoid pork tacos.

Honestly though, my main concern of swine flu is it's proximity to my small town. About 400 km away, but fairly close. However since non-Mexican = non-fatal with this virus, I'm not running around looting and hoarding.

To my next point, hoarding anti-viral medicene, particularly the one that counter-acts swine flu.

Don't.

Save it for the people who do get sick.

We'll tell you when to hoard.

Also.

I apologize to my Mexican fans, but erm, stats don't lie :/
Cheers.