Symptoms include coughing, sneezing, and searching for truffles.

Swine flu is a bitch isn't it? Well, maybe a sow...

The WHO has raised it's panic level to 5 as of late. What does that mean? So far it means don't panic, but we're almost at a pandemic. It's an illness with it's epicenter in Mexico and traces all around the world. People are certainly worried about contracting this illness, since, afterall, it is an illness.

What are the symptoms of swine flu? You get the flu, then, if you're Mexican, you die.

Most (if not all) swine flu related deaths have been in Mexico. Poor be the people who die from it there, and may they rest peacefully. However, there have been little to no deaths outside of Mexico. This sounds like good reason not to panic.

But ho! The American media extraordinaire it at it's finest. By the powers of CNN, ABC, NBC, and FOX combined, we form TERRORTRON. Unleashing fears never before coined. We must cause chaos and persuade pandemonium! Terror of what is yet to come, not of the little that has been.

So, what should YOU do to protect yourself from this viral apocalypse? Let's see.

1. Don't panic, it's a flu.
2. For fuck's sake don't panic, it's a flu.
3. If you're Mexican skip to step 6.
4. Don't go to Mexico.
5. Avoid Mexicans.
6. Take lots of Vitamin C suppliments.
7. Drink plenty of water.
8. Don't panic.
9. Avoid pork tacos.

Honestly though, my main concern of swine flu is it's proximity to my small town. About 400 km away, but fairly close. However since non-Mexican = non-fatal with this virus, I'm not running around looting and hoarding.

To my next point, hoarding anti-viral medicene, particularly the one that counter-acts swine flu.

Don't.

Save it for the people who do get sick.

We'll tell you when to hoard.

Also.

I apologize to my Mexican fans, but erm, stats don't lie :/
Cheers.

Battle of the Blands

Many yesteryear past there was such a thing as musical talent.

A band used to consist of a group of musicians who played well from hours of daily practice. Friends who played their hearts out on stage and gave it all their all. Then the singer would leave to become a solo artist.

Nowadays a band seems to consist of 3 pretty boy rhythm guitarists who can't write their own songs.

WHAT IS THIS FOPPERY?!

Aren't we supposed to be amazed and amused by portrayals of talent and excellence? Weren't we once rocking out to hard rock blasting through the stands of an old arena? DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN A SONG DIDN'T HAVE A MUSIC VIDEO?

Music used to be an art man, an art.

Now it's sort of like modern art, except it's the kind of modern art you know is full of bullshit.

Fuck you disney.

FUCK YOU DISNEY!

Oh well, hooray for local talent. they still do it for fun.
Cheers.

7 ain't so lucky

Where did it all go? Is it hiding from deadly sins? Is it being killed by them?

Greed killed the economy. Millions of middlemen taking a piece of pie and rasing prices during trades. Artificially inflating everything so they can go home with a bottle of wine instead of a bottle of beer.

Gluttony kills our children. It also infests them. They want that second happy meal and that bigger slice. Yum yum yum, thump thump thump, stroke.

Sloth is feeding the machine that is convenience. Why not have the treadmill walk on itself for you? Mixed with habits of gluttony, early death is not a choice, it's an expectation.

Lust is spawning more evil. Not that children are evil, but the young ones of the sinful are. Or they will pick up habits of these deadly sins and pass them on.

Pride is causing anger all across the world. "I'm better than you, submit to me". People thinking better of themselves and causing conflict to defend it. Simply disgusting.

Envy is a fickle one. It's interesting to think how much of this there it. Mind you i often seems to be envy of other deadly sins. Envy of greed, envy of gluttony.

Vengeance is killing anyone who's still alive. Churning anger and holding terror deep within to bring it back with fury and intrest. Of course, vengeance bring more vengeance.

These really are deadly sins... not that I want to sound like a preacher of doomsday, but things aren't looking to bright.

Whores and Cookies

Both sweet, soft, and enjoyed by all =D

Oh, but the serious topic for today folks is indulgence. You see, we like to indulge. We love our desserts and our drugs and our money and our women. Problem is there are many indulgences in life that take a toll on our body. Sweets will make us fat. Drugs will make us comatose. As for sex, well, let me quote an old sex ed book I was forced to read in grade 5 as saying "Making love is like jumping rope, it's really fun but it's even more tiring".

However, people often fail to realize the possibility of pseudo-indulgences. Why have desserts when an apple is just as sweet? Why have drugs when you can play tricks on your mind all by yourself? Of course, sex may be tiring, but foreplay never dies.

Honestly, this is a shot at people's lack of creativity. They always seem to want what other people tell them they want. Sex all over TV and cookies in the bakery. Y'know, you can take a little less to have a lot more people. Be creative, have some fun, don't go for the all when you have the most.

Overall, just be a little more clever and you'll live forever.
Happily too.

Cheers.